So I haven't shared this yet, because in many ways, I'm not sure that I'm ready for this change in my life. I'm also not sure I want comments on whether this is a good choice or not. I am so torn. I have been offered many job opportunities over the last year. And even when we needed the money, I just didn't feel that I could leave my children. Well, this comming Wednesday I will join the workforce outside of my home. I've been so blessed to be able to work from home in many different ways in the past. Our cozy house does not accomadate my piano, and I'm not sure I could fit any more kids inside to do babysitting, or preschool. So as of Monday I will be officially an employee of the hospital daycare staff. I will be "teaching" the 3 to 9 year olds. In some ways I am excited to expand my teaching and preschool skills. I really enjoyed teaching preschool last year with our mommy preschool. And Jacob, Abby, and Rachel will be in my class. But my sweet baby David will be in the infant room. They'll spend 2 hours at the center (which is at the hospital Winslow works for.) Then they'll come home with Daddy for 3 hours before I get home. So I get to spend all morning and a short portion of the afternoon at home with David and Rachel before I go to work. And Abby and Jacob come to the center after school. We should have fun making things and using our imagination. Lots of fun toys and books and time together.
Will I like it?
Will I be overwhelmed?
Will I miss my baby terribly?
Will I struggle with critisism over being a working mom?
Will I feel like I can still do my church calling?
With the economic times we live in I feel a great need to reduce the debt we have. I could go on and on, continuing to justify it to myself. The truth is, I simply don't know the answer. I haven't been given a definite answer. I feel like this is one of those times that the Lord says "you make the decision, I have faith in you." I guess the real question I have is...do I have faith in myself? Did I make the right decision? I don't know yet. I pray the Lord will lead me and bring peace.
9 comments:
Melissa, the Lord loves you and knows you best of all. Stay close to him and he will lead you along. You are a wonderful mom!
Ok so you feel the exact same way I felt when I started back working. You will be exhausted a lot and very overwhelmed at times, but it will be ok. It is just a really big transition period which may be a little tough but it will get better. You will do great I know it!!
I think it's fantastic that you found a job where you are near and with your kids! Who could ask for more?
Welcome to the ranks, sweetheart. P.S. I do miss my babies terribly. But they still love me and they are with Daddy all day - the best babysitter in the world. Good luck, God bless you and give you strength. XO
That is a tough decision...so far we haven't reached that point and we are praying that Jeff will be able to work things out with his current job so that we never do...but times are tough! We have debt that occurred mostly from medical bills and unexpected car repairs...we were doing fine and then the economy started falling through and our credit cards are charging more per month--well, long story short, things are tighter than they have ever been for us!
Anyway, enough about me--it sounds to me like you have prayerfully made a choice and that you have found employment that allows you to still spend a lot of time with your children and at the same time help with your financial situation. Let go of the guilt, turn it over to God, and I'm sure it will all work out--you are amazing Melissa and I will pray for you!
Melissa,
This post makes me feel emotional for you. I see the real struggle you are experiencing and know how difficult it is to make such big decisions. I am impressed with how you are trying to follow Heavenly Father's will. It reminds me of when Kennady (my 7 yr old) tearfully told me that she was praying to know Heavenly Father's will but she just couldn't hear his answer. I know that as you go foward in faith, miracles will follow. Love you!
How blessed I am to have such wonderful support. I have tearfully loved each of your comments. Thankyou so much.
Melissa, I totally feel your pain. It is such a major decision, but like you said sometimes the Lord puts it into our hands and lets us make the decisions we feel are best for our family and their futures.
I had the hardest time when I went back to work at Goodman's when Britt was a baby. But, for my family and our financial situation I knew it was best. But, it sounds like you will be close by your kids so hopefully it won't be too bad. Also, sometimes it is nice to get out of the house away from the norm and do different things. I hope things work out for you guys. Keep us updated on how it goes.
Hey, will you email me your mailing address
clickmedical@yahoo.com
It was good to see you this weekend.
LaDawn
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